The Greatest Difficulties of Studying Abroad, and How I Overcame Them

As of today, I only have three days of school left! It has been an incredible experience, but it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows like it seems on Instagram. I don't write this to complain or evoke pity, but just to honestly share some of the difficulties I've encountered--and hopefully to help those who will one day study abroad or just travel to Europe.

The most (or tied for most) difficult thing I struggled with was being out of my comfort zone. I'm very independent and task-oriented, so I crave routine and "my way" of doing things. aka I do not do well with change. So, for about the first week I was here, I just wanted to go hide in my room because 1) I was EXHAUSTED and 2) because everything was so unfamiliar and uncomfortable. After a few days, I realized that I was going to need some time to myself each day just to recharge. This probably has more to do with the fact that I'm an introvert, but I really needed that time alone. If I felt more rested and at ease, I was more eager to go explore or go out with a group later that day. Even now at the end of my program, I won't say that I feel completely comfortable with my surroundings, but I definitely feel more settled, especially with navigation.

Now, for the other thing that ties for most difficult...the language. The Enneagram Type 2 in me ~pridefully~ thought, "Oh, I'll have no problem with the language!" HA. I learned very quickly that I was not nearly as good at French as I thought. The first few days in France, we were in Paris, and everyone there for the most part speaks English. Of course, we would try to order at restaurants in French, but most servers get tired of waiting for you, so they would switch to English. But, once we got to Lille (the city where I've been studying), we rarely encountered a person who spoke decent English. Naturally, this caused issues with using public transportation, asking for something in a store, etc. And in all honesty, I remember coming home-probably around day 6-and just being so angry. I didn't want to speak French AT ALL, and I basically avoided leaving my apartment to go anywhere because it would require so much extra effort.

The language barrier kind of plays into another challenge, which is exhaustion. Listening/comprehending/speaking in another language within a normal response time is so, so difficult, especially at first. One of my teachers here actually makes us reread things at least 2 or 3 times out loud, because the first time you're just trying to remember the vocabulary/verb tenses, and then the second or third time you can actually start to piece together what you're reading. So, you can imagine after 6 hours of this process that I'm pretty exhausted. But, speaking isn't the only thing that makes me tired. When you become immersed in another culture for an extended period of time, you essentially have to relearn all social cues. So many things are different here, and one small mistake could leave people thinking you're incredibly rude. All that to say, you have to push through it. I realized after about a week that if I didn't at least try, I was never going to improve. Yes, I was so exhausted at the end of the day, but I was proud of myself if I tried to talk to at least one cashier, waiter, etc. Most of the time, native speakers can sense you speak English, so they will either try to speak in simple terms (and be very patient with you!), or switch to English. The French (especially in this city) are very proud that they know how to speak English! Most of them start to learn it in grade school, which I think is the most beneficial way to learn. If worse comes to worse though, you can always just point at things on the menu---it leads to a very comical experience!

The last main challenge that I encountered was missing my way of life at home. During the first week especially, I missed the most random things. Let's see...driving my car, running errands (?), going to the gym (who am I?), and I really missed the food from home. Don't get me wrong, I love a good crepe or baguette, but after a while I start to really want a good salad or some chips and salsa. Also, I've mentioned Chick-Fil-A so many times to my friends here that they probably think I have a slight addiction. The thing I miss most, though, are my "people." Family and friends that make me feel comfortable, at ease, and know my sense of humor and my weird quirks. I've described this study abroad experience to many as "going to college again for the first time" in the sense that you have to play get-to-know-you games, ask "Where are you from?" 13 times, and engage in small talk nonstop. I was counting down the days until I got to see my family for the majority of my time in France, which was strange for me because I don't normally get homesick while I'm away at school. But, like I did with the language barrier, I reached a point where I realized I needed to really push myself more to make the best of the experience. Not that it was "bad" in any sense, I just really missed the comfort of my "normal" life.

All this to say, these challenges truly helped me grow this summer. I made memories that I would never have if I hadn't chosen to participate in this program. Stay tuned for a reflection about the biggest rewards that come from studying abroad!