Goal Setting

photo via designlovefest

Today I am back and sharing about one of my most motivating factors, GOALS. I find for me, the most practical time to set goals is at the beginning of something: the year, the semester, the week, or the day. The two main reasons I set goals are because 1) they keep me on track and motivated and 2) they help me pinpoint what I actually want to achieve, as opposed to a long, ambiguous list of things I need to accomplish at some point.
Something to keep in mind, though, is that you have to keep your goals personal and practical. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can run a marathon just because everyone on Instagram seems to be doing it, when it reality you can barely run a 5k (this is intended as a jab at myself). Focus on what you want to achieve.
Also, make efforts to actually achieve your goals; for me, that means writing them out on paper and putting them in a visible spot, but it also means that I write "work-out" into my planner 4 days a week or "go to coffee with a new person." I will admit that I've been known to write out New Years resolutions every year, but I've found that I don't achieve them unless I post them in a good location and create practical action steps.

Physical: 

Get at least 7 hours of sleep per night/go to bed way earlier. 

Recruitment is still wearing on my body, and I'm getting sick from lack of sleep. It doesn't matter how much fun you think you're having late at night, you have to sleep. Even just three weeks into school, I can tell a huge difference in my mood and energy levels compared to last year.

*inserting a note here to say I'm not doing so hot on this goal. I stayed up until 2 last night watching PLL, but I FINALLY found out who A was. ok continuing**

Exercise 4 times a week. 

Here is an example of making my goals practical. I have some friends who would say their goal is to work out 7 days a week, which is great! That is my end goal eventually (in the far, far future). But, I know that I don't want to work out that many days a week first of all, and second, my schedule will not allow for 7 workouts a week. If I make the goal 7 days a week, I start off failing, and then I just end up feeling guilty. I worked hard this summer to develop a fitness routine and start getting my body back into shape, so I want to try hard to continue it.

Run a 10K! 

Going off of exercise, I want to really focus on getting into running. You might recall that one of my New Year's resolutions was to "become a runner", and while I don't think I'll ever enter a triathlon, I do want to push my body past its normal limits. I actually signed up (and now I'm financially committed) to run a 10K in November, and my end goal is to run the St. Jude half marathon before I graduate.

Personal:

Reach out to new people. 

Even after 5 weeks of being back (2 weeks of recruitment), I already feel like I've gotten to know so many new people. Being at school has taught me to break out of my "comfort bubble" and interact with people I don't know as well.

Get involved on campus. 

My freshman year, I was occupied with two things-school and sorority. Basically every night my first semester was occupied by one or the other. Then second semester came along, and I was pretty burned out on trying new things. This year, I want to try to get involved in other organizations, as well as volunteer more often.

Meal prep

This one is semi-random, but it was brought on by my new living arrangements. This year, I'm staying in an off-campus apartment with three other girls in my sorority. And I have MY OWN ROOM and MY OWN BATHROOM and A KITCHEN. What is life?! Ha. It has been so, so nice having a kitchen. I'm trying to remain semi-healthy with my diet, and also eating out all the time starts to get crazy expensive. The past few weeks I've been trying out a new recipe here and there. My tentative thought is to plan 2-3 meals each week that are quick and easy, and then I'll save leftovers for lunches and other dinners. Also, quick shoutout to Walmart Grocery pick-up. I wish I had invented it.

Reward myself/ Be more fun.

While I'm definitely proud of my academic achievements last year, there is definitely a small part of me who wishes I would have had more fun. I know with my major, lots of sacrifices have to be made, but I don't want to look back on another year of "the 4 best years of my life" and wish I would have gone to that function or stayed out late one night. I'm going to try to create more of a reward system for working hard. Along with this, I am trying to be more spontaneously fun--saying yes to these that I normally wouldn't.

What are some of your goals?

The Pros & Cons of Change

Change is one of those things that can give people a major thrill or major anxiety. And, from personal experience, change is what makes the new seasons of life so difficult. It was my biggest fear going into college and the biggest hurdle I had to overcome my first few months there. But, after stepping back and having some time to reflect on that season, I realize all that change had some major upsides to it. Here are my thoughts about the pros and cons of change:

City of Stars

Today's post is a fun one! I'm sharing all about the second half of our trip in Los Angeles (or if you're a die hard La La Land fan, the "City of Stars"). I've been itching to visit this city, probably due to the insane amount of bloggers & YouTubers that live there. I will say, though, you have to have a certain personality to live there. It was way too huge for me, and the traffic was insane, but I can see why people in the entertainment industry make the move. The weather wasn't actually too hot, surprisingly, but be sure to drink a ton of water. One of our Uber drivers told us that LA was a desert before it was populated, and your body dries out of water without you realizing.

The Pages Project-Never Unfriended

Today's post is not only a book review, it's also the start to a new series on friendship! I'll be bringing in some of my friends for commentary, so be looking forward to that. But today, I want to share with y'all one of the best "self-help" type (nonfiction, maybe?) books I've ever read. I'm usually not one for the serious, thoughtful type of books, especially in summer, but I was determined to make a dent in my reading list. Never Unfriended by Lisa-Jo Baker is the best book on friendship I've come across thus far. 

(First, though, I need to insert an honest moment--I dropped this book in the bathtub. And it was a library book. So I had to pay a huge fine to replace it. Just trying to share my real adult life with   y'all.) The book starts out by addressing our fears in friendship, such as FOMO or rejection. Then, it has a short section on issues in friendship we can't control, such as other people's "stories" or relying on friendships to fill us. And then, the most important section, different actions we can take in friendship, such as initiating, listening, and going through the highs and the lows of life together. Baker gives the hard truth that "If it is real, friendship is usually untidy." I've experienced my fair share of messiness in friendships, but this author gives encouragement that perfection is not attainable in friendships (or any aspect of life). 

She hit me hard when she talked about FOMO, saying, "We have worshipped at the altar of inclusion when we were built to worship at the altar of the only living God." 

Other pieces of advice I took to heart include:

-The cardinal rule of friendship: you have to be willing to go first.

-People come in all shapes and sizes and stories and it's not our job to fix them, use them, or get them to act just like us. It's our job to love them.

-Maybe the most intimate, radical thing we can do for our friends is to show up...giving our friends the same gift Jesus did--the gift of our presence. 

I've read a few books over the past several months about friendship, but this was my favorite. It was so honest and real, and didn't skip over the hard parts of being in community with others. She included several personal anecdotes about the good, the bad, and the ugly of sharing life with others. I highly recommend! 

San Diego

Today's post is a fun one-a recap of my recent trip to California with my mom! Our first part of the trip was in San Diego because my mom had a work meeting. We've had this trip planned since January, and it truly was a motivational goal to work toward during my hours of studying periodic table trends. Truth be told, I was looking forward to LA (the second part of this post) more than San Diego, but I ended up LOVING San Diego. We stayed on Coronado, which is an island just across the bay about 30 minutes from the airport. The weather was perfect (75 degrees!), and the overall atmosphere was so relaxing.

Lessons I Learned from Working in a Restaurant

Today, I have a very different type of post! I’ve been working as a hostess the past two and a half months, and it has been quite the learning experience. I’ve never worked in a restaurant type setting before, although I’ve always had a love of cooking, so this job was the perfect introduction. I’ve compiled a list of tips that I think are important for all restaurant-goers.

               1. Be a good tipper.

This is by far the most important lesson I learned from this job. Everyone always say “Make sure you tip well!”, but often, people don’t. They’ll just put the standard $4 down for every check or leave in a rush and even forget to tip. How much you leave as a tip tells that server how great of a job he/she did. Without a tip, servers make very minimum wage; their jobs are hard. But, if you feel like the server wasn't very attentive or rude, make that known with your tip. They are working to give all customers the best possible dining experience. In my opinion, standard tip wage should be 20% of your bill. My dad says to tip based off the total before tax—I’m kind of hit or miss on that. Also, if you have any kind of coupon that you used, you should be sure to include the cost of that item in your total. Also, keep in mind that other people, such as the bussers, are working just as hard and are also relying on your tips.

2. Please be gracious to all restaurant staff.

 I completely understand that everyone has bad days, and I get irritated when my food comes out wrong as well, but please, please, please try to be gracious to a restaurant’s staff. Working as a hostess, I have to balance the requests of the guests, the servers, and the managers, and sometimes it is quite the balancing act. I’ve had people come up to me yelling because there aren’t any tables available. And not to be rude, but there is not a single thing I can do about that. I’ve also been to restaurants where they said there aren’t any tables available even though I see one open—often this is because the restaurant does not have the staff available to offer you prime service. If your food does come out wrong, just pleasantly tell your server, and a new dish should be preprared no problem.

3. A ton goes on behind the scenes.

This lesson comes based off the restaurant I work at—it’s a local, fine-dining European place. But there is so much work that goes into keeping it afloat. Our head manager has to come in at 4 a.m. some mornings just to do inventory. There are 5-6 head chefs alone that are in charge of purchasing their needed groceries, in addition to all of the prep cooks. Plus, there are bussers, bartenders, patio staff, etc. One time, I took a to-go order on the phone for a grilled salmon entrée, but we had just run out of salmon, so our head chef had to run to a local market to grab more!

4. The customer is always right. 

 I’m not sure how it is at all restaurants, but at least where I work, we have a 100% Customer Satisfaction policy. We will try everything we can to seat you where you prefer, make any dish to your needs, etc. That is not to say that as a consumer you should make unnecessary requests, but know that the staff is there to make your experience enjoyable. And, if you feel like there is an extreme issue, never be afraid to ask to speak to the manager. 

The Letter Writing Kit

Most of my friends are far, far away this summer at a place called camp!! In this isolated place, there is no such thing as cell phone service, so we must rely on old-fashioned snail mail to communicate. (Dramatic much??) Hand-written letters are one of my favorite things in the world. It makes me so, so happy that the lost art of letter writing becomes so popular in the summer. 
Since I've been doing so much writing, I figured I should stock up on some stationery, and I even made a small collection out of it. This little kit can be downsized or expanded, and it would be perfect to give to a friend going to camp for the summer or a semester abroad. 

What I would include: 

-A few specialty/more expensive cards

-A set of thank you notes

-A set of simple birthday cards

-A set of blank cards

-Pens

-Stamps

If you're feeling really generous, you could add an address book, some address labels, and some hand-painted cards.

 I keep all of my stationery items in a cute basket like this one from Target.

I've also written a post about why I enjoy hand-written letters and some different occasions to send one. You can read that here. 

I hope you all enjoyed this short post. I'm currently writing from the airport about to leave on a fun trip with my mom! Follow along on Instagram (@abstergailll) to see where we're going. Can't wait to share some fun content from this next week.

The 5 Phases of Moving to College

(I actually wrote this post the week before I moved to college almost a year ago! I've inserted a different color font with my present thoughts.)

With only 5 (WHAT?!) days until I move to college and have to start #adulting, I've had a ton of thoughts about this crazy transition phase that is the summer before college. I used #adulting and #college wayyyy too much haha.  I would love to hear feedback/thoughts/advice about moving to college. Also, I plan on writing a "letter to my freshman year self" type post. 

1. The "I'm not a high-schooler anymore" phase.

This phase was rather short, but really the whole week before graduation (my class went on our senior trip), I kept thinking "I'm actually going to be a college student. That trip still holds some of my favorite memories. Also, I really hope I didn't appear as one of those "baby" freshmen...WHAAAAAT?! I think I'm actually still in this phase. Just the thought that I'll never have to wear a school uniform or use a locker kind of blows my mind.

2. The overwhelmed phase.

Between 87727347 graduation luncheons, writing more thank you notes than I've written in my life, getting everything ready for recruitment, and starting a new job, the beginning of the summer was definitely stressful. Still makes me stressed out just thinking about it. All of the prep was definitely worth it, but this year I'm taking a more *chill* approach. Don't get me wrong, this time was so fun and celebratory, but it did come with a whole bunch of to-do lists.

3. The nervous phase.

Y'all, I'm not kidding when I say the entire month of July was a total freak out. In the past I've really struggled with anxiety, and senior year it went away, but then it came back. I think a lot of it was that I was away from home for two weeks and just had a whole bunch of things to do, but I was definitely worried. That anxiety didn't go away for the first 2 months!! But it's totally normal. Second semester I felt very "seasoned" and accustomed to it all. Anything from the color of my headboard to making bedskirts to making sure my grocery list was made (because that's totally normal) was in my head. S/O to great roommates/friends who put things in perspective.

4. The excited phase.

This phase has been going on for the past week or so. I am just really excited for everything college is going to bring. And I'm even more excited for this next year! I've been spending a lot of time with my parents lately; in a recent conversation with my dad, he wasn't sad as much as he was excited because he saw college as the beginning of a ton of new memories and opportunities. And even though it'll be small, I am super pumped to decorate a new space!! 

5. The sad phase.

This phase didn't really come until I hit the "one week til move-in" countdown. That one sentence was all I originally wrote one year ago. Two days before I moved to college, we had a big family dinner with all of my grandparents and my aunt. It was a time of reminiscing and also a time of prayer for the next adventure I was about to embark on. All I remember about that time was that I was sobbing. Uncontrollably. And I don't like people to see me cry. But, the reality that I was moving away from home for an extended amount of time hit me hard. All that to say, it really is ok to be sad for a time. 

I hope y'all enjoyed this more personal post! I took the week off last week for a vacation with family, and the past few days I've been working hard on brainstorming content and planning a redesign. Thank you, thank you, thank you faithful readers! Every text I get saying "I read your blog today!" makes it all worth it. 

XO

My New Room

Getting a redecorated bedroom in my house is kind of like a rite of passage. As my brothers and I turned twelve or thirteen, my mom would work with us to create our dream room! On my turn, I was real into the PB Teen matchy-matchy look, complete with the turquoise and brown polka dot everything. I did love that room! As I went through high school, I started to get rid of most of the polka dots and brown, and started to add some more pink and navy (my preferred colors) and it all started to kinda not match so much anymore.

But, last summer, I spent every dime (exaggerating) on dorm bedding and decor. And I didn't really have the time to contribute to designing a new room. So, over Christmas break, I sold most of my furniture and bedding on Craigslist, and started to plan for a fresh, new room!

I wanted it to be more "clean" and mature, since this will be the way the room looks until I move out for good. And, I didn't want a whole bunch of *stuff*. After living in a 10x17 dorm room, I was ready to not be suffocated by *stuff*.

The color scheme was based off of this print (she usually has a website but it's under renovation). I knew I wanted a lot of gray and white, but still with a few pops of color. And, just a fun fact about me, I really prefer navy over black.

Here are a few "before" photos that I took super candidly...

 Lots & lots of turquoise

My mom has been a huge help with this project! While I was at school this semester, she was painting the walls, hanging curtains, and assembling furniture. Every time I came home this spring, my room would have something new! 

And without further ado...

 My new room!!! I really wanted this room to be somewhat budgeted. I managed this by just avoiding any "expensive store". There isn't much in here now that isn't from Target, HomeGoods, Michaels, or World Market. My mom found this couch on a whim at HomeGoods and bought it before I even responded to her text. (And that's why we're related. :)).

A few tips about this room:
1. I've tried to compile a decent amount of wall decor over the past few years between my old room and my dorm. But, an easy way to save money is instead of buying prints off Etsy and having them ship to you, buy the downloads instead! Just go to FedEx and have them print the download on nice paper. You'll probably save about $25 on paper and shipping if you just DIY. (or if you're feeling fancy...go to dafont.com, download a font, and try to recreate a print!)
2. I hung most of the frames on the wall with command strips. That way, I can change them out as my taste changes.

3. Instead of buying pre-made, custom pieces, I tried to do as much of it as I could by myself. This was an old frame we had--I just spray painted it and covered the back with a piece of cork and some fabric I found online. Total cost was about $15!

 4. I had a ton of books in my previous room, so I tried to spread them out under lamps and bins.

 Color coded, of course.

 Bookshelf from Target! This shelf probably won't look so full once I go back to school as I'll take some decor items up there with me.

5. Also, I tried to avoid buying a ton of knick-knacky things to save a little money. The little succulents I found in the dollar section at Target!

 Floor-length mirror is from HomeGoods, and small mirrors are from Target. I don't love the way the mirrors look side by side in this photo, but the long mirror makes the room look so much bigger in real life. All bedding is from Target, except for the velvet pillows that were super cheap from World Market.

And that's my new room! I didn't want to include a ton of photos, just a few snaps. Comment below if you have questions about where things are from. 

The Pages Project: The Dollhouse

I'm back today with a third(!) post this week, continuing my Pages Project series. I think I heard about The Dollhouse on another blog...and not going to lie, it's been sitting in my "to read" pile since February. But, it was one of the first books I picked up for the summer!

Overall, I really enjoyed it. Other than a rushed ending (which I'll touch on later), I thought it was a great portrayal of history, while also including an aspect of modern fiction. The book is based on a hotel for women, called the Barbizon, that served as a place for women to stay in the 1950s while they were training for their careers. Half of the story is told through the perspective of one of these women, and the other half is told by a journalist in the 21st century. She lives with her boyfriend in the Barbizon (which now serve as condos) and discovers the fascinating history of these women.

If I'm going to read a historical story, I usually prefer it to contain some aspect of fiction, so The Dollhouse was a great fit. The one downfall for me was the ending--I felt the plot was at a good pace and the story was developing really well...and then all of a sudden I reached the climax and it resolved all in about 15 pages. And, the story switched to the perspective of only one character. I kind of understand that it had to happen, but it left me wanting more.

I did some brief research on the history of the hotel, and apparently one of its most famous guests was Sylvia Plath (author of The Bell Jar). She was mentioned a few times in the novel. You can tell Fiona Davis (the author) did her research, and it paid off in her storyline.

A new feature I want to include in this series is a difficulty level/preferred setting:
I would classify it as an easy read, not because of lack of content, but because it was so intriguing and left me wanting more every time I put it down. I would suggest reading on a long car or plane ride!

Thanks for reading, friends. Hope you're enjoying!

Memorial Day in Columbia

The much-awaited road trip to see Cate finally happened!! Since last August, we've been trying to find a full weekend that worked for both of us. The long Memorial Day weekend proved to be a winner!
If I'm being honest, I had been in a real funk the first few weeks of the summer. I had all these things I wanted to do,  new, creative avenues I wanted to explore, and so many trips I wanted to go on (and no money! #shocker) And I was just feeling kind of empty. But my time with Cate left me feeling full, encouraged, and inspired.

Upon arrival, found this girl in the yard photographing her roommate's new dog. we obsessed all weekend.

Artsy wall at a greenhouse

We actually cooked most of our meals while I was there! Feeling domestic, obviously.

Yes, they were actually organic.

Our big adventure on this trip was kayaking! If you've been following this blog for a while, you might remember that last summer we tried to be #adventurous and go bike riding in the middle of June in the heat of the day! That wasn't our brightest idea. However, this one was! I had the best time, the weather was good, and someone actually commented that we looked "posh, but in a good way."

Also, big things happened on this trip. Cate and I actually got a REAL photo together. Not a selfie. One of Cate's sweet friends, Ellie, grabbed the camera and took enough photos that we had significant options. Girls, you know what I'm talking about.

Memorial Day picnic at the lake

sporty gals!

My last day we spent "working" at the local coffee shop. Lots of creativity goin' on there, folks.

And then, we tried to recreate this photo of a girl wearing my same shirt.

Thoughts on La Croix?

We concluded the trip with a fancy GNO at a cool pizza place.

And we bought a key lime pie that we ate all of ! ha!

And again, we got some more photos together.

Thankful for this weekend of girl talk, sleeping in, laughter, and cookie logs. Can't wait for our next weekend together, sweet friend!